Sunday, 7 September 2025

The Friendship Test (or, A Test of Friendship)

"When Olga Khazan introduced 'The Big Lebowski'—her favourite movie—to her friend, she was nervous. 'I was worried that she would dislike it so much that she would kind of dislike me too, through osmosis,' she writes. Jitters such as hers, it turns out, are common.

“'If something really matters to you ... there’s a vulnerability in sharing it with someone else.' When we declare a favourite book, movie, or album and introduce it to others ... what we’re doing is saying, 'This is an aspect of my identity that I’m willingly putting out there in order for other people to know me. And if you reject this thing, you reject me.'

"Our friends often do like what we like. The trouble is, we usually want our friends to be even more similar to us than they actually are ... Whether a disagreement over a beloved book or movie sparks friction in the friendship depends on how well you know the friend, what else you have in common, and how important that particular book, movie, or show is to you ..."
~ Olga Khazan from her post 'The Big Lebowski Friendship Test'

1 comment:

MarkT said...

Expecting friends to necessarily like the same thing you like is grossly unrealistic. Even if you have the same fundamental values or philosophy, there will be differences in the specifics that most activate those values for you - according to your personality, interests, stage in life, and numerous other variables.