He said she said David said G. said

Jacinda said we should be kinder. Hate is wrong, said J. We need "a global effort to shut down hate speech," she said.

People asked "What's hate speech?" And J., who was like, not letting a crisis go to waste, said trust me: "you'll know it when you see it." And Helen said, like "Yeah. Right on J.!" And Emmanuel rang her and said: "Let's do this!"

And Louisa saw it all. Going on. Out there, in the media. She wanted to slap them. The media. (And tried to.) "The Fourth Estate," said Louisa, angry, must be made, like, an arm of the state; have imposed a "Duty of Care"; have their "social contract," you know, "formalised." There ought to be a law! she said.

Louisa got angry. (Louisa is one of J.'s people, so is a good person, so it's all safe and all when she gets angry and stuff and talks about laws on talking.)

Right on, said good Golriz, right on time. 'Cos G. knows right-on stuff. Even if Judith thinks G. is "just a kid," good Golriz is a good person who really knows stuff. "It is vital," said G. (who likes pop singers, selfies, and passive verbs) it is vital, she said, that "we" all have "a conversation" about "what speech meets the threshold for being regulated." Regulating being what they do up in the Big House when they all sit around and start a conversation and stuff.

And we others all wondered who "we" might be? Because "we," said G., need to decide "what mix of enforcement tools” the people in the Big House needed to stop bad people saying bad things. Because bad people need to be "deplatformed," said G., on her platforms. "It's now a public-safety issue!" she said. And G. must be a good G. because bad people are all bad to her.

One of those bad people, who everyone knows is a bad people -- let's call him "David," who you know is bad because of all of his bad mates -- said that "such an idea, and by extension politicians who promote it, is a danger to our free society." Lots of people agreed with David about that, but everyone knew they were bad people.  And then David, when aksed by someone about G.’s rap about regulation, David said to them he thought that G. was, he said "a menace to freedom."

And everyone who knew better said this was really bad. Everyone who knew best said David was being mean to G., who bad people were already being really mean to. Which was mean, and they knew mean when they saw it (and they would, these people, know it, I mean). David was inciting this mob of bad people, said these good people, who were (the bad people) being really, really mean to G.

Trevor, who runs the Big House so is a really, really top people, said David was, like, being "a bully" to G. (and Trevor would know) and David should really stop (and when Trevor says "stop" everyone in the Big House has to, like, listen).  So G. hinted David shouldn't ever be part of her "we" or their conversations at the Big House about tools about talk and regulations and stuff. Ever. 'Cos he was obviously and all a bad person. Like everybody had already told him but she told him now for real, because now she needed to be like "protected" around the Big House. And it was all David's fault. The protection and stuff.

And Louisa and Jo wrote David a letter. They didn't actually send David the letter, because it wasn't really for David but for all their bffs. They (Louisa and Jo, who agree with each other even though they're from different teams, so you know they're good people) said that they and all their bffs in all the Big Houses around the world all also think David was being mean, said Louisa and Jo in the letter, and they all wanted to tell him to his face he was being mean (even though Louisa sent the letter to the Fourth Estate instead of to David because now, you know, whatever). So David should say sorry, tut tutted Jo and Louisa (in the letter). And in public (like the letter).

And Judith, dear old Crusher, who had been away from the headlines for a day or so, after reading all the letters and all the Fourth Estate and all focus groups and stuff, well, she tut tutted too. Why not all be "a little bit kinder towards each other" tut tutted Aunty Judith. Especially to G.  Can't we all just be nice to G., smiled Crusher, who was being ever so nice, which was hard. Even if it was a good headline.

Stephen wasn't nice. He argued back at G. Which G.'s friends or good persons would never do, so you know he's, like, not. Stephen called her names too. Made fun of it. Other people had called G. "Golly G." ('Cos of good Golriz G.s name and surname and like too.) But Sam said this was racist. 'Cos Sam's one of those good people who just knows. Calling a POC "Golly," said Sam, is racist, racist, racist. Stephen was being bad, being "unsafe" and threatening," said Sam. (Who would know.) And so were Stephen's friends, said Sam. All of them. Unsafe. And threatening. And so Sam told Stephen's teacher on him for being unsafe. (Sam is also, like, one of J.'s people, so did it to be kind. Because he knows it when he sees it. Another good person.)

So Sam's twit-mob piled on too, but only to be kind too. "Racist, racist, racist" they chanted. But not in a, like, hateful way. These woke-persons know where the lines are. They were all of them being kind. They just needed Stephen deplatformed. They told the teacher on him too. Nicely. 'Cos they're nice.

'Cos they all know where all the lines are. They know what's nice and what's not.

They know what saint J. and good G. would like, and what's hurtful.

They know it when they see it.

They know who needs to be deplatformed. Whose speech needs enforcement. Whose social contract needs to be, like, "formalised." Who exactly this "we" is -- and who should be allowed to have a conversation about the rules.

And who shouldn't.

They know them when they see them. Bad persons. They know. What's unsafe. What needs to be shut down. Who should be run over. Who run out of town. Who you can threaten, and who you can't. They know from incitement, these good persons. They all know their lines....

Dave Rubin reckons "Of course the Left is moving to 'speech is incitement.' First they did 'everyone I don’t like is a Nazi,' then it was 'you can punch Nazis,' now it is 'speech is incitement' -- and next it’ll be 'you can jail the Nazis over speech.'"

Are we there yet?

It seems it's time for a good discussion on free speech: it's meaning, its threats and its controversies. To get it, like, out of the playground. Because this free speech thing needs way more than just kindness and wokeness and carefully-curated conversations about niceness and the "tools" needed to enforce this -- it needs an adult kind of willingness to hear other people talk even when you disagree with them. And not to make rules discouraging that, or declaring it illegal.

And look, here's one of those discussions right here:

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