Wednesday, 14 November 2012

Hard Labour is coming for you

Want to know what dangerous fantasies inhabit Labour activists’ minds? Wonder no longer, as all the dopy policy remits activists have dreamed up for consideration at this weekend’s Hard Labour conference have now been published online. Fortunately, DPF has done the hard work of extracting the remits from the 25-page conference document. As he says, “Do not read these if you are of a nervous disposition”:

  • Nationalisation of partially-sold assets
  • A state owned insurance company
  • State-owned and managed retirement homes
  • Every NGO receiving even minimal government funding be required to have a 50% gender quota on its governing board! 
  • Require all private boards to comply with a 50% gender quota within five years
  • A gender quota for the House of Representatives (why not a race and sexual orientation quota also!)
  • Compulsory Te Reo Maori until age 15
  • Compulsory worker representation on large company boards
  • Bring back compulsory membership of student associations
  • De-facto compulsory unionism by forcing all employees to “contribute to the benefits of enterprise and multi-enterprise bargaining”
  • Turn contractors into employees
  • Reverse employment law changes and destroy NZ as a location for international film making
  • Lower the voting age to 16
  • End all funding of private schools (which ironically will force them all to be integrated and go from 25% funding to 100%)
  • Bring back the food police to school tuckshops
  • Ban seabed mining for minerals oil and gas
  • Ban fracking
  • Ban coal mining
  • Ban plastic bags 
  • Ban companies that do not pay a “living wage” (which is much higher than the minimum wage) from winning government contracts
  • A tax on all aquaculture
  • A tax on all mineral exports
  • A tax on all financial transactions
  • More taxes on petrol to fund rail
  • Fund a brand new commercial-free TV broadcaster
  • Fund a Pacific TV broadcaster
  • A Super Gold card for transport for under 21s
  • A rail link to the airport for Auckland (think how much taxes will be going up to pay for all of this) 
  • Direct Kiwirail as to who must win their tenders
  • Restore the “social obligation” to the SOE Act (despite the fact they were never repealed!)
  • Insert the Treaty of Waitangi into the Constitution Act
  • Raise the age of Super to 67 to pay for other welfare – except for Maori!
  • A universal child benefit so millionaires get paid money for having kids
  • 52 weeks paid parental leave (why stop there – go for 18 years I say!)
  • All single benefits to be increased by $50 a week!!!
  • And everyone gets a pony

Shorter summary: Gender, gender, gender; nationalisation, nationalisation, nationalisation; ; compulsion, compulsion, compulsion; ban, ban, ban (they’ve been listening to the Greens again, haven’t they); welfare, welfare, welfare.


  1. Sweet mother of Galt. Terrifying, if yet strangely reassuring.

  2. If I were John Key, I would hope all the remits are adopted.

    Kiwi Dave

  3. They have *truly* lost the plot, even given that those are remits rather than policy.

    They've learned nothing at all from Greece's plunge into the debt abyss.

    Tax, tax, borrow, spend, ban.
    Tax, tax, borrow, spend, ban.

    I've said elsewhere that if Labour drone on about people leaving for Australia, I can guarantee you that the numbers will at least DOUBLE under policies like this.

    Bloody socialist idiots.


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