Thursday 16 February 2006

Those dirty Americans

YAHOO NEWS: BATTLE CREEK, Michigan, USA - A man who pleaded no contest to a sodomy charge involving a sheep says he should not have to register as a sex offender...
[Hat tip for the news, Paula at Ultrablog]


Hah! Time for some sheep jokes about Americans, the dirty buggers.
  • A Canadian bloke was walking down the street in Michigan when he saw a farmer going hammers and tongs on a sheep. The Canack yelled out, "Hey mate, in Canada we shear our sheep." The Seppo* turned around and said, "Piss off mate, I'm sharing none of this."
  • Q: What do you call safe sex in Michigan?
    A:Marking an 'X' on the sheep that kick.
  • 'A Michigan Nursery Rhyme'
    Mary had a little sheep
    With the sheep she went to sleep
    The sheep turned out to be a ram...
    Mary Had A Little Lamb.
  • A Canadian farmer and a Man From Michigan were walking out in the field one day and they spotted a sheep tangled in the wire fence.. "Wow!" said the Canack. "I wish that was a woman all tangled up in that there fence." Said the Man From Michigan, "I just wish it was dark!"
  • An American walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says: "Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache." His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies, "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot." The man says, "I think you'll find that I wasn't talking to you."
And in honour of the Pub-owner in Brigend, Co. Donegal, Ireland, who was convicted some years ago of running a brothel after he installed some sheep in a house behind his pub for the pleasure of his patrons:
  • Q: What do you call four sheep tied to a lampost in Donegal
    A: An Irish leisure centre
  • Q: What do you call an Irishman with a sheep under his arm?
    A: A pimp.
  • Q: What do you call an Irishman with sheep under one arm, and a goat under the other? A: A bisexual.
Now finally, just to finish off (so to speak), there's a message to sheep-shaggers at this link.
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*Seppo: rhyming slang. 'Seppo' = septic tank = Yank

2 comments:

Jude the Obscure said...

Mary had a little lamb
Her father killed it dead
Now Mary takes her lamb to school
Between two bits of bread.

Libertyscott said...

Bernard, this is why people who like vindaloo are really perverts - you do need your own blog!