Thursday, 16 February 2006

Questions about NZ's culinary disgrace

WTF is it with Watties Tomato Sauce, and how come it's considered the height of culinary excellence by Kiwis? A world full of flavours, and we have to have this muck as our own contribution? (Is this the culinary equivalent of 'Shortland Street,' or 'Close to Home' -- vile, insipid, characterless and utterly without imagination?)

How can you do that to fresh tomatoes, and how do you get something so vile from food so fresh and delightful?

Why do we have to have a bottle of this inedible muck contaminating our fridge just so guests can smear their food with it -- food full of flavour, lovingly prepared, only to have this red daub smothering all subtle flavours. And they demand it, don't they! I've been with friends at restaurants, who even insist on getting a bottle of this muck at the table. Why, for heaven's sake? Don't they want to taste the food they've ordered and paid for? Wouldn't they just be better with a bowl full of Filboid Studge, eaten at home in the dark?

And it's not even an attractive bottle, is it? Is it specifically designed to dribble, and to cake up around the top? Is that part of its 'charm'? And why does the contents last forever? We've got a bottle at the back of the fridge dating back to the pleistocene age, and it still delights visitors. Just what exactly does Watties put in that bottle to preserve things, and can anti-aging scientists learn from them?

All in all, if this is NZ's great culinary secret, maybe we can contrive to keep it that way, huh?

Whinging in NZ has his own rant on the subject here. Blame him for starting me off.

LINK: "the taste that Kiwi's know and love" - Whinging in New Zealand


  1. Robert Winefield16 Feb 2006, 09:34:00

    Yep it's crap. But infants love it! Smother this rubbish on their food and they will eat solids willingly - no need to threaten to feed them with a snow shovel.

    So I guess that this is one case where a behaviour learned as an infant carries on into adulthood.

  2. greasies and 'dead horse'


  3. Yep, I concur. I'd rather sit down to a plate of Kapiti Mozarella, some locally grown basil and roma tomatoes, a little Telegraph Hill Olive Oil and a bottle of Tuatara Pale Ale.

  4. have hated the stuff since I was a small thing. now you got me going.

  5. Don't you need some pasta with that, Stu?


    And you can keep your dead horse to yourself, Os. :-P

    When it comes to sauce, make mine either sweet chilli, or Kikkomans, with mayo on the chips -- with either a Kilkenny, or a nice crisp lager. Mmmmm.

  6. Oh good grief. What Kiwi ethnic icon are you going to topple next time?

    Go throw some at your Wall Footrot dartboard and think up a post about how to disparage gumboots then.

  7. Isn't business wonderful, producing products to satisfy every taste :-)

  8. Footrot bloody Flats. Murray Ball is a barking leftie who claims that he gave up writing Footrot Flats in protest at the then-current (early 90s) direction of NZ politics.

    Thanks Rick! Next?

  9. Once the bottle is empty, fill it up with Oak or Pams or whatever tomato sauce. No-one'll tell the difference.

    I don't want any threats to my life so I'm posting as Anonymous for this one!

  10. Thanks Rick! Next?

    I gave you the next..oh.

    I'll translate into Darnton for you: "Wellingtons." ;)

  11. Tomato sauce - The Great Equaliser.

    Anonymous is right - it doesn't have to be Watties.

    I have seen (several times, several different people) eating Tomato Sauce Sandwiches!

    I like it but I have my limits.

  12. Oh it's Watties having been very clever to market it as an icon - largely because it's cheap and a generation of families covered the muck that passed for food in the 60s and 70s with it so kids would eat it.

    It IS vile sugary muck, so it would go down a treat in the UK!

  13. You know that's probably it.

    It became popular with a generation raised on meatloaf and other atrocities, and became what they then came to associate with flavour, poor saps.

    And it might help to explain why NZers in the main prefer their beer sweet?

  14. I buy the catering packs of Moore Wilsons sauce. The cost is about $1/litre.

    And you can't tell the difference!

  15. Just how much tomato sauce do you get through Os? I'm intrigued now.

  16. That 6 litre bottle lasts about a year or so.

    My kids spread more around the plate/paper/floor than ever gets on the food!


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