Thursday, 16 September 2010

Homeopathic iPods

You’ll realise that in homeopathic potions the “active” ingredient is so dilute that less than one molecule of it appears in solution—and extraordinary claims are made for this expensive bottled water. 

Realising the power of this scam these products, a savvy vendor has brought a homeopathic iPod to the market at TradeMe—an obviously extraordinary product at a price that is either eye-watering or a bargain, depending on your view of homeopathic scams medicine. And worry not, it ticks all the homeopathic boxes:

_Quote This iPod has had all the electronics from the inside removed. It looks like a regular iPod, but the inside has retained a memory of the electronics that were present.
    Unlike standard iPods, this one will not damage your hearing - definitely no side effects…
    The music cannot be heard or detected by any scientific equipment, but there are hundreds of testimonials saying how good the sound quality is.
    According to homeopathic theory, the fewer electronics, the more powerful it is, so this iPod will store every mp3 every made. It makes 16GB memory look like a drop in the ocean

Get your bids in now!

And keep an eye out for the first homeopathic iPad to come onto the market. It’s bound to attract some hefty interest.

[Hat tip Shaun Holt]

5 comments:

  1. On that note, I found this hilarious: http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/opinion/2010/0915/1224278896060.html

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  2. @Greig: Hilarious.

    "Fingal County Council will only say that water occurs naturally in the Earth’s crust, and the impact of the water main is less than Rush’s general background dampness. This is an insult to the suffering of anyone who has ever taken a tincture of elderflower for dyspepsia of the colon. At the very least, it is clear that water may have unknown properties – and properties are very much on everyone’s mind.

    "As well as legitimate health fears there is also the threat of an accident to consider. A burst main can send water shooting several feet into the air, spoiling nice shoes and even rusting ungalvanised wheel arches. This prospect is simply too horrible to contemplate. Water can also catch fire and explode if split into hydrogen and oxygen.

    "So what can be done to protect the residents of Rush from the menace beneath their nice shoes? One solution is to run the water main above ground on overhead pipelines.

    "This is standard practice in permafrost regions like Alaska and Siberia, where it is notable that few cases of witch hazel poisoning have ever been reported..."

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  3. From here: http://podblack.com/2008/12/little-kitten-lyrics-to-tim-minchins-storm/

    If you show me
    That, say, homeopathy works,
    Then I will change my mind
    I’ll spin on a fucking dime
    I’ll be embarrassed as hell,
    But I will run through the streets yelling
    It’s a miracle! Take physics and bin it!
    Water has memory!
    And while it’s memory of a long lost drop of onion juice is Infinite
    It somehow forgets all the poo it’s had in it!

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  4. Don't forget that (AFAIK) most homeopathic supplements are sold as pills. So, not only do they require that water as a memory, but also water must be able to pass on this memory to sugar...

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