Friday, 28 August 2009

Top Ten Things About Being Prime Minister, by John Key (aged 13¾)

I see John Boy Walton Key is appearing on Letterman in the ‘Top Ten’ slot.  So here’s some suggestions from Russell W for what he can say: The Top Ten Things About Being Prime Minister, by John Boy Key (aged 13¾)

No 10. I’m on TV!
No 9. Nick Smith & Tony Ryall are so annoying, they make me look good.
No 8. Listening?  What’s that you say?
No 7. I can say, “I’ll give you a tax cut,” even though I knew I wasn’t going to.
No 6. I get to meet the Obamessiah.
No 5. I get to overrule Bill.  Sometimes.
No 4. People think I’m nice.
No 3. I can finally say “Some of my best friends are Maori.”
No 2. I’ve discovered that flip flops are actually political principles./
And finally,
No 1. To get elected, you just have to tell people you’re different from the other team -- but you don’t have to be different.


  1. Number 11. I get to meet long lost relatives when I am travelling abroad.

    Number 12. I can provide funding for research into cloning ..(so my clone can do prison time for fraud and money laundering for John Elliott, whilst I carry on with my duties as Prime Minister)

    Number 13. A nice Policeman drives me everywhere.

    Number 14. "I can see Russia - errr - I mean Rangitoto, from my house!"

  2. Key's a cock, and he's noticeably dissembling already.

    That'll teach him for his arrogance, using this country as his plaything, as his childhood wish is amounting to.

  3. Gregster, if Key's a cock, what does that make Helen ?

  4. You guys should write for 'The Standard'.

  5. You got a contract and a cheque?

  6. Flip flops. Yez. that's got him summed up nicely.


  7. Ayrdale

    Noooooooo! That's too much!



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