"The dog ate my homework"

He accused Bob Jones of losing his memory. He told the Herald's Audrey Young she was incompetent, and should resign. He sprayed venom at anyone who questioned the increasingly incredible stories he was spinning ... and now, just when the Serious Fraud Office is sniffing around, the necessary pieces of paper have fallen miraculously out of the back of Winston Peters' file. They show that Bob Jones donation did find a home; the law was broken (though it's too late now to prosecute); and the problem all along was that the dog ate Winston's homework.  His helpers stuffed up.  It was just "an administrative error."  Or in Peter Brown's words, "people make mistakes," "we're all human," "those sorts of things do happen." (Where was Winston when the shit hit the fan? He was still out looking for the dog.)

One wonders just what short of things were happening when the all too inhuman Dail Jones saw $100,000 sailing into an account, and then disappearing before his very lies.

One wonders whether Winston will now apologise to all he impugned, and renounce the baubles he mistakenly assumed.

One wonders whether the taxpayers, or even Parliamentary Services on behalf of taxpayers will ever see the $158,000 he stole to help buy the last election, and which he is still required to return.

Or, as a caller suggested on Leighton Smith's show, perhaps Winston's little helpers could try donating it all to the Alzheimers Trust?

Naturally, behaviour such as this is still sufficient to ensure Winston a place close to Helen's heart.  Clearly, even breaking the law is no bar to Helen's good graces, nor is being suspended as a minister any barrier to the retention of one's baubles, making it clear that:

    [Hat tip Clint Heine]

UPDATE 1: Lindsay Perigo tries to unravel the riddle of Winston.

UPDATE 2: Farrar updates the latest developments, including who's been ying to whom, who's been paid to lie and is not doing very well, and who's just plain incompetent.