Leave the Key under the mat, please
When you get to the voting booth this year and your blue pen is hovering over John Key's name -- getting ready to write him a blank cheque based on little more than a nice smile, a good story and the ability to change his mind at the drop of an order paper -- give some thought to his choice of architecture. Any man who can stand proudly outside a house like this with that proud look of ownership on his face has to be treated with considerable caution.
Paul at the Fundy Post critiques a residence utterly without charm.
It is difficult to know where to begin. Here is a house (described somewhat disingenuously by the Herald as a "bach") which has the appearance of a miniature office building. Rather than its present location at Omaha Beach, its design suits it to a business park on the outskirts of the city, conveniently near major transport hubs. The reader should note the extravagant and charmless cornice, apparently supported by massive piers, as well as the floor-to-ceiling windows in tinted glass. The reader should note these and resolve never to have a home with these features; unless, that is, he should wish to have regular visits from photocopier salesmen, for surely they will flock to his door.
Should one be visiting Mr Key in his holiday home, whether to attempt to sell office products or for social reasons, it would be very bad form to tap one of those seemingly weighty piers. It would chime like a bell. The piers must be hollow, since the wooden deck which apparently supports and surrounds them could not bear the weight of so much masonry. Wits might observe that this is a hollow house for a hollow man.
Not that he's not entitled to live in whatever kind of appalling house he wants to, of course. Just as we're quite entitled to judge him for that choice. As architect Claude Megson said when reflecting on the appalling artistic choices of Alan Gibbs (this was back in the eighties when Gibbs was advising on how taxpayers' money should be divvied up), if these people don't have the taste or even the honesty they were even born with, how can we trust them in any other sense?