Monday, June 26, 2006

Bullshit Bingo

If you've never played Bullshit Bingo then you've been missing out. If you spend too much time in too many meetings where phrases like the following are used, then you need Bullshit Bingo to help keep you sane.
  • in a nutshell
  • moving forward
  • in the fullness of time
  • thinking outside the square (only ever used in my experience by people resolutely within their particular square)
  • vision statement
  • win/win situation
  • scenario
  • segment
  • sector
  • skill set
  • value added
  • team player
If you were playing Bullshit Bingo and you heard all or even some of those phrases in a seminar, phone call or meeting, then you could be on to a winner! Just download your Bullshit Bingo cards from here, print them out, and when you or your colleagues score a line, leap to your feet and shout Bullshit!

Turn your next meeting into a Bullshit Bingo game. It's probably the most productive thing you can be doing.

LINK: Bullshit Bingo - home page
Bullshit Bingo commercial - iFilm Shorts

TAGS: Games, Humour

7 Comments:

Blogger Duncan Bayne said...

"thinking outside the square (only ever used in my experience by people resolutely within their particular square)"

I remember a Dilbert cartoon along these lines, where Dilbert is interviewing a candidate, and says "we are committed to the principle of employee empowerment."

The candidate responds "If you really were able to make meaningful decisions, it'd never occur to you to create a name it."

With the exception of us philosophy wonks, she's right :-)

6/26/2006 04:41:00 pm  
Blogger Oswald Bastable said...

My 'favorite'

"A team player"

translation:

(1)Some lazy wanker who only exists by leeching of others. (2) Never had an original thought in his life.
(3) A sycophant

6/26/2006 09:40:00 pm  
Anonymous Andrew Bates said...

Fellas,

you've been missing out:

Perhaps you can synergistically leverage this resource to deliver geometric growth to your bullshit bingo cards footprints: http://www.dack.com/web/bullshit.html

My favourite recommendations:
I laughed so hard my paradigm shifted and I spent a week in the hospital.
— Mark S.

Using the Bullshit Generator, we were able to replace our entire marketing staff. Thanks!
—Jay B.
[Note that this came out before the tech crash when tech firms actually had a budget allocation for marketing teams.]

6/26/2006 11:34:00 pm  
Anonymous James said...

What about that king of old chestnuts..."At the end of the day..."?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

6/27/2006 01:12:00 am  
Blogger Brian Smaller said...

My favourite was when this stinking manure pile of a manager said to me that "there is no 'I' in TEAM". I responded, "there is no 'U' either".

6/27/2006 07:38:00 am  
Blogger Elliot said...

and:

"After a cost benefit analysis we've identified an opportunity.."

6/27/2006 09:07:00 am  
Anonymous Sus said...

Hi Oswald .. agree with you re 'team player'! But it's topped by fucking 'Team Leader' - which appears to be the status of every damn bureaucrat in every damn letter we receive from any damn govt/local govt dept.

Ditto AB: 'paradigm' drives me crazy .. also '24/7'.

However, I must admit that I competed in the National Public Spkg finals 2 yrs ago with a speech entitled 'Thinking Outside the Square'(!)- which contained more than a smidge of libertarianism, I might add!

Doubly delicious was the fact that it was delivered in front of a packed ballroom at the Wgtn Intercontinental containing more than its fair share of public servants whose collective facial expressions went from puzzled to downright stunned!

It was a beautiful thing.

6/27/2006 10:57:00 am  

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