Monday, March 13, 2006

Heard in the big city

As the line goes, in the big city there's a million stories. And with them a million opening lines. Overheard in Chicago is trying to catalogue them all. Sample:

At the Mexican Rally on Adams and Dearborn
(Hundreds of people waving Mexican flags)

Bike Messenger: "What's going on over there?"

Onlooker: "I think it's a lawn mower sale."

North & Clybourn Red Line Stop
Bum: "Can you help me?"

Guy: "No."

Bum: "You look Jewish."

Guy: "No, I'm Atheist actually."

Bum: "Oh, so that's why you won't help me."

In front of the Sears Tower

Homeless Man: "Please help the hungry."

(woman hands man a sandwich)

Homeless Man: "Thank you very much...wait, is this a ham sandwich? How do you know I'm not a practicing Jew?"

On the South Shore
Lady On Cell: "Hi sweetie, how was school?"(listening) "What do you mean you lost your pants?"

At the University of Chicago
Guy: "I realize you're an economist, but as a human being don't you have any morals?"

Purple Line
(Father with his daughter on the train)

Daughter: "When we get home can mama read me a book?"

Father: "Why can't I read you a book?"

Daughter: "You never read to me. Mommy says it's 'cause you're retarded."

LINKS: Overheard in Chicago - [Hat tip Spitting Lama]

TAGS: Humour

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