Wednesday 23 November 2005

They're everywhere

There's someone that Susan the Libertarian is eager to meet, someone who - if you believe all you read -- apparently represents a dying breed. She would like to meet "the one single, solitary Kiwi who's never been":

1. Molested by Dad, Mum or any family member, schoolteacher, scoutmaster or church leader

2. Obese, anorexic or bulemic

3. Racist, sexist, ageist or vice versa

4. In danger of getting skin cancer from the sun, or just plain old cancer from coffee, meat or anything else that tastes good

5. Addicted to anything .. alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, gambling, sex, shopping or sugar

6. Made redundant, bankrupt or otherwise insolvent - (in spite of Christmas costs!)

7. Exposed to the latest chemical from some evil foreign corporate, or the latest potential 'pandemic' destined to wipe every human from the face of the earth; eg Sars or Bird Flu

8. Worried about hyped-up crap from greenie-reds such as Global Warming or the Ozone Hole, and finally

9. Influenced by dorks in government depts!

So where is the Kiwi who thoroughly loves life and his or her family?!

They're everywhere. They simply - and sensibly! - ignore the 'news' and all its nonsense.

[Note that you can now get Sus's Sound Bites through an RSS feed!]

3 comments:

DenMT said...

Come on PC, any opinion piece which labels global warming as 'hyped-up crap' really has to be filed in the 'ignorance' bin...

Anonymous said...

Hey Dmentd, the Earth may or may not be warming up but the thrust of the Global Warming religion - that evil Man is causing it with his harmful commerce - is complete crap.

PC, checking Sus's original, it seems she "ha[s] a friend who reckons he's just dying (!) to meet the one single, solitary Kiwi who's never been ..."

By the way, in response to that list, what's wrong with:
1) being addicted to sex, if it doesn't prevent you living the good life;
2) having been made redundant, if you got on with the job of living and re-educating or finding another job;
3) having been "[e]xposed to the latest chemical from some evil foreign corporate" and not given a shit?

Anonymous said...

You're right, Andrew. There's nothing wrong with the riders attached to 1, 2 & 3.

The piece was a tongue-in-cheek response to a news bulletin on ZB that consisted largely of what we humans *might* contract or die of.

Nothing new there, of course. It just pissed me off and I had time on my hands!

Besides, greenie/red-baiting remains a favourite hobby. And there's nothing like slaughtering a sacred green cow or two, to get them shrieking.

That's the problem with socialists. (Are you lurking, Steve?)

No sense of humour.