Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Wine flu update

A correspondent writes in:

I had a dinner party last night, where I and other guests enjoyed copious alcohol. I awoke this morning not feeling well, with what could be described as flu-like symptoms; headache, nausea, chills, sore eyes etc.
    From the results of some initial testing, I have unfortunately tested positive for what experts are now calling Wine Flu. This debilitating condition is very serious—and it appears this is not an isolated case. Reports are flooding in from all around the neighbourhood of others diagnosed with Wine Flu.
To anyone that starts to exhibit the aforementioned tell-tale signs, experts are recommending a cup of tea and a bit of a lie down. However, should your condition worsen, you should immediately hire a DVD and take some Nurofen [Nurofen seems to be the only drug available that has been proven to help combat this unusual type of flu].  
    Others are reporting a McDonald’s Happy Meal can also help in some cases.
    Wine Flu does not need to be life threatening, and if treated early can be irradiated within a 24-48 hour period.  If not, then further application of the original liquid in similar quantities to the original dose has been shown to do the trick.


  1. Blue Powerade is the only cure

  2. Tragically, I searched Shaun Holt's site for remedies, and came up with nothing.

    However, after many years of extensive research, I can confirm that I have seen excellent results from scrambled eggs with toast and vegemite.

    The vegemite, you understand, is crucial.

  3. (irradiated or eradicated?)

    Funny, especially as I have a hangover.

  4. I too have been known to suffer from this affliction; however, I have proven, through detailed research, that either a fresh bottle of Shiraz, or a plate of Steak & crisp french-fries, is an efficacious treatment.

    This affliction should not be confused with the outbreak of Fline Shlue discussed on the National Radio morning show at 7:08 this morning, which sounded terrifying by name as well as symptoms!

  5. I have occasionally contracted Wine flu. Usually precipitated by copious amounts of jollity, contracted through fluids infected with alcohol, shared with friends. Sadly, being male and now advancing years, it usually progresses to Whine flu, a condition which buys even less sympathy.

    In truth, the only cure is time, fluids, and a short memory.

  6. One time my mum caught it, she wasn't my mum before she caught it, but after.

    See how disturbing it can be?

  7. Let's hope that you don't get a repeat bout following Thursday's Bloggers Bash.

  8. I checked my symptoms, and I think I suffered from wine flu throughout much of my college life:

    What is Wine Flu?But I also had issues with beer flu, and even vodka flu on one awful occasion.

  9. Wine Flu symptoms are odd. In the case of Wine Flu, people feel better when they have it and worse when they have gotten over it. This is a different experience than when people have other forms of flu. This deserves more study. I am studying this right now. Perhaps you have gathered that by now.

  10. I think i've got a case !!


1. Commenters are welcome and invited.
2. All comments are moderated. Off-topic grandstanding, spam, and gibberish will be ignored. Tu quoque will be moderated.
3. Read the post before you comment. Challenge facts, but don't simply ignore them.
4. Use a name. If it's important enough to say, it's important enough to put a name to.
5. Above all: Act with honour. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.