DOWN AT THE DOCTOR’S: Dissecting the news

Libertarianz Party leader Dr Richard McGrath gives a libertarian take on some of this week’s news . . .

1. ‘Farmer Walks Free After Shooting Intruder’ – A jury acquitted David Allen, a Bay of Plenty man, after he shot a gang associate who had been threatening to kill him over a debt. Two weeks earlier, Mr Allen had been beaten to a pulp by two men who arrived on horseback demanding money. Bravo to Mr Allen for ridding the country of the two-legged rodent, and to the jury that acquitted him on all charges. People have a right to act in defence of themselves, their loved ones and their property, using sufficient and reasonable force. A Libertarianz government would enshrine in a formal constitution the right to act in self-defence. 
   
2. ‘Fined For Illegal Clearing, Family Now Feel Vindicated’ – Liam Sheahan was fined $50,000 for clearing a fire break in the trees around his house in Victoria (Australia) so that his family wouldn’t end up barbecued. The bushfires came and the Sheahan family survived unscathed. Under a libertarian government, the mindless laws that discouraged Mr Sheahan from acting to protect his family would be abolished – and the Mitchell Shire councillors who passed a law placing the “intrinsic value” of vegetation above that of human life would be horsewhipped.
   
3. ‘Bailout Talk Could Harm F&P Prospects’ – John Key wants to use taxpayer money to prop up Fisher & Paykel. A better idea would be to either reduce or abolish GST and company tax for the duration of the recession (and ideally beyond), to make life easier for all businesses (instead of favouring a few high-profile firms). The recent slide in the New Zealand dollar should help exporters anyway. It is absurd to keep alive a private company that is failing in the marketplace at the expense of other more profitable and viable businesses.
   
4. ‘PPTA Calls For Private School Bailout’ – The headmaster of Wanganui Collegiate School, Tim Wilbur, writes to John Key asking whether integration into the (second-rate) state system was the “right option”. No, Tim, it’s not an idea you should entertain, ever. 
       The teachers’ union says it is concerned that Wanganui Collegiate is a private business asking for a handout in tough economic times. They are right! A Libertarianz government would not give handouts to anyone during a recession – that is the role of private charity. Parents should not have to pay twice to have their kids educated. The government should privatize education and make it easier for schools to operate profitably.
       To all those paying for children to attend private schools, the government should immediately issue tax credits. 
       Labour lickspittle Chris Carter notes that private schools, because of their fees, are inaccessible to most New Zealanders. That’s right Chris – because people like you have allowed the Daywalkers (vampires that can walk in sunlight – i.e. IRD employees) to become entrenched in our lives, when they should really be lynched.
       New Zealanders are taxed to the point where the average family simply cannot afford a decent (private) education for their children. Instead, they have to send them to places like Hutt Valley High... 
   
5. ‘Nine Arrested After Brawl At Hutt Valley High’ – Nine thugs wearing gang colours attack a fellow student on the sports field during school hours. Thirty other students rush in to help their schoolmate. Need I say more?
   
6. ‘Iranian Wins Asylum After 53 Day Hunger Strike’ – Fair enough, as this man would otherwise be delivered back to Islamo-fascists for torture and execution. However, while supporting his integration into New Zealand society, Libertarianz would oppose this gentleman having any claim on the taxpayer in the form of welfare benefits. He would need to find a sponsor, and not join the hundreds of thousands of parasites sucking the lifeblood out of the few remaining productive New Zealanders.
   
7. ‘Government And Pro-Cannabis Billionaire Back Drug Conference’ – Although the National-led government, and Labour opposition, are clearly against decriminalising marijuana (or any other recreational substance) for adult use, they see fit to force the taxpayer to jointly fund a conference on drug policy along with a prominent American supporter of drug law liberalisation.
       These idiots have it completely arse-about-face. The government should not be sponsoring conferences on drug policy – interested parties from the private sector and philanthropists are quite capable of doing this.
       The government should be legalising all drugs for adult consumption, while prosecuting those who sell or give drugs to children. All adults should be held responsible for their actions at all times.
   
8. And lastly, from my own local paper the Wairarapa Times-Age: ‘Fast And Furious Muay Thai Action On The Cards’ – Three hundred kickboxing fans were entertained last Saturday night in Masterton by an array of novices – my son included – in their first competitive kickboxing fights. Next to Aussie Rules football, this is the world’s second most libertarian sport. With virtually no interference from the referee, and no government bailouts for losers, it was a great night, notwithstanding the cancellation of the superheavyweight bout because of a broken stage. You kicked serious ass, Andrew. I’m proud of you!    

  See y’all next week!
Disclaimer: Lynching tax-collectors is not exactly official Libertarianz Party policy, though it is morally justifiable.
* * Read Doc McGrath’s dissections every Wednesday here at NOT PC * *