Near enough everyone by now is aware that John Key has been swallowing dead rats to make himself look the way he thinks an electable politician should look. He's swallowed enough dead rats already to make a bishop sick.
Interest-free student loans to bribe university-age voters? Me too. KiwiSaver? Me too. Foreign policy? Me too. Welfare for Working families? Me too. Waffling on about climate change and emissions trading? Me too. Privatisation? Cap on GP's fees? Bulk funding for schools? There's the faintest whiff of controversy? Oh, go on then, me too.
There is nothing National will not do for power, including abandoning whatever principles it ever had, and fooling every supporter it ever had about what it stands for and where it's really going.
But I'm not really here this morning to remind of the dead rats that Flip Flop Boy has already swallowed, I'd like to point out, or remind you, about just a few of the dead rats he's going to insist that you swallow. As Steve Pierson says at The Standard (yes, Virginia,The Standard), "It strikes me there is a disconnect between what prospective National voters expect it to do in government and what it has actually promised it would do."
"Disconnect" is the kindest way to describe the gap between what most Blue Team voters expect, and what National will deliver -- the size of that gap is the measure of cynicism of National's campaigners.
Think power prices are too high and National will know how to lower them? Think again -- it was them who signed up to Kyoto, and who introduced the RMA.
Think petrol prices are too high and expect National to slash the fuel tax? Hell, no - Maurice Wimpianson has already ruled that out.
How about reversing the anti-smacking law? Not a chance -- Flip Flop Boy has already ruled that out.
'Fixing' law and order? They've got no more clue than the Red Team what to do.
'Fixing' the RMA? Nick Smith couldn't even fix a good going-away dinner - and he should.
'Fixing' the economy? Who are you kidding.
Or 'fixing' the Electoral Finance Act? Have you any idea what they will actually introduce as a replacement, or how -- because they sure don't have a clue.
Reversing Labour's Emissions Trading Scheme? The bastards have got their own anti-industrial wet dream they want to introduce.
Think they'll fix the die-while-you-wait health system, or the state's factories of illiteracy laughingly called schools? Are you kidding -- the health and school systems are the ones they introduced.
Or make serious tax cuts -- the sort of tax cut that would leave a Treasurer crying? Hell no. Not in a million fiscal quarters.
So why would you even considering voting for the bastards? They still don't even know from one day to the next whether they're a party of compulsion or not. No wonder NZers are leaving in their droves, even with the expectation of a National Government come November.
As a commenter says at The Standard, watching National voters after the election will be like watching a friend who starts dating 'HotChickHot4U' off the internet, and she turns out to be a scam artist who ends up with half your house... Self-delusion is not compulsory, it’s a choice. And if people can’t be bothered to try and find out what they’re getting, they get what they deserve."
How many dead rats can you swallow? And why on earth would you want to?
Here's Monty Python.
UPDATE: "You vill play schport!" says Nanny Key. Jawohl, Herr Neville!