Friday, 30 May 2008

Beer O’Clock: The Best Beer Names in New Zealand

This week in your regular Friday Beer O'Clock post, Neil Miller from Real Beer updates you on beer names.

I found a great article by Joey Redner in Florida's St Petersburg Times called “The 10 Best Beer Names Ever.” It is very American based but two of my favorites were:

  • McQuire's I'll Have What The Gentleman On The Floor Is Having Barley Wine The name is a subtle hint that at 12 percent alcohol by volume, this beer is meant to be sipped. If you can drink it faster than you can say it, slow down!
  • Wasatch Polygamy Porter The slogan explains perfectly why this is the coolest beer name ever: "Why have just one?"

I was sad my beloved Pliny the Elder Pale Ale did not make the list. It is the only beer that makes you sound like a classical scholar when you order it. Unless you mispronounce it horribly (I’m looking at you Mr Nicholas and Mr Plowman).

It got me thinking about New Zealand beers so I have attempted a first cut at “The 10 Best Kiwi Beer Names Ever!”

10. Roosters Haymaker – A haymaker is a big wild punch which, if it connects, sends you crashing to the floor. Much like this strong beer really…

9. Black Shag Stout – Because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you still laugh when anyone says ‘shag’.

8. Twisted Hop Twisted Ankle – You do need to mind where you put your feet after a few of these.

7. Harrington’s Workingman’s Shandy – Normally a shandy does not count as beer but the Harrington’s version is actually a mix of a 6.5% beer and another 6.5% beer. Just what the working man orders.

6. Shakepeare’s Puck’s – Named after a mischievous little character in Shakespeare, 11.1% and no end of potential for end-of-evening mispronunciations.

5. Lighthouse Fugnose – Made with Fuggles hops. When someone asked the brewer what the beer was called, the brewer is still adamant he really did say “Fugnose.”

4. Epic Mayhem – Because everyone needs a little Epic Mayhem in their lives.

3. Harrington’s Wobbly Boot Porter – The people at last night’s tasting just loved the name and liked the beer.

2. Mussel Inn Pale Whale Ale – It sounds so cool but was even better when it was the Whale Tail Pale Ale.

1. Pink Elephant Mammoth – Pink Elephants rule. Mammoths rule. Cross-species beer names rule.

Cheers, Neil



Best Beer Names Article


Pale Whale -

Black Shag -

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