1. Aliens have taken over Shane Bond's body. Who was that guy bowling?But aliens didn't take over our batsmen. That was just shit-hot bowling of the kind the Black Caps just couldn't produce.
2. Aliens gave Craig McMillan, the fattest Black Cap a strained stomach muscle. He doesn't have any muscles in his stomach.
3. Aliens wrapped Scott Styris' finger in tape so he could not bowl more than an over.
4. Aliens hit Jacob Oram on the heel.
5. Aliens keep moving the stumps when our fielders threw the ball.
6. Aliens took over the Umpires to give 2 terrible decisions.