Tuesday, 27 February 2007

A major scientific discovery

A major scientific discovery:
A major research institution (MRI) has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium," extracted from samples of the mineral Bureaucratite.

Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 deputy neutrons, 75 assistant neutrons, and 224 deputy assistant neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no protons or electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact. A reaction which would normally take less than a second to complete takes 4 days to complete after contact with just a minute amount of Governmentium -- reactions which would normally take weeks, will take months.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 3 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time since each organisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
Many thanks to the UK Independence Party for this. In case you're wondering, that's the same UK Independence Party that may be shut down by the UK's campaign contribution rules -- under similar rules as are proposed here in NZ (and for similar reasons).

That's what happens when any element meets its anti-matter equivalent: annihilation.

LINKS: Political cartoons from a Eurorealist perspective - UK Independence Party, West Bournemouth Branch
UKIP faces ruin over donations - Telegraph
Bureaucratite - Wikipedia

RELATED POSTS ON: British Politics, Free Speech, Humour


  1. The whole Governmentium structure can however be induced to increase it's mass exponentially by coming into contact with loose units known as Gorons.

    This defies known science. Studies are continuing but all reputable observations conclude this new metastising mass is highly parasitic and unstable.

  2. Richard McGrath27 Feb 2007, 16:48:00

    I'm sad after reading the news item about the UKIP. Just shows the lengths the Forces of Evil are prepared to go to in order to shut down dissenters.

  3. Richard, I have no doubt but that any threat to the comfortable major-party dominance enjoyed by sitting partiers will be met with everything that can be thrown at such threats.

    The challenge to the UKIP ove donations law, the jailing in Austalia of Pauline Hanson over electoral irregularities, the problem here with the Libz bank cheque in 2002, the proposal here and in the UK for "electoral finance reform" ... you don't have to agree with any of the agggrieved to see these as instances of or pointers to a very virulent form of speech rationing to protect incumbency and the status quo.

    The power-hungry won't give up power without a fight. We've always known that.


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