Lindsay Perigo: Wankers, wowsers, waiting lists and Islamofascists

Today's Radio Live editorial from Lindsay Perigo, on air now until 4pm (NZ time). Join Lindsay either by listening at your local frequency (check here), or by listening online.

Ronald Reagan used to tell the story, though not to Mikhail Gorbachev, of the fellow in the late unlamented Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, who bought a car. He was told by a clerk behind a desk that delivery would be seven years three months and five days away. “Morning or afternoon?” asked the buyer. “Morning or afternoon?” echoed the clerk … what difference does it make when it’s seven years three months and five days away?” “Well,” said the buyer, “it has to be the afternoon. The plumber’s coming in the morning.”

That’s about what it’s like now in the Soviet Socialist Republic of Aotearoa. No, you don’t have to wait for a plumber. You don’t have to queue for bread. There’s no toilet paper shortage. You can buy a CD of your choice—or computer, or book, or mobile phone, or TV, or car, or pair of shoes—pretty well straight away, because these things are produced and supplied by private enterprise, for a profit. In the old USSR they were produced, if at all, by Nanny State, supposedly for service—and service was surly or non-existent. Here in the Soviet Socialist Republic of Aotearoa, Nanny State runs the electricity system. Nanny State’s Transpower operates the national grid, overseen by Nanny State’s Electricity Commission and Nanny State’s Commerce Commission. What do they give us? Blackouts. Blackouts without back-ups. This supposedly First World country’s biggest city was without power for a day because supply was literally hanging by a thread, which snapped. Nanny State’s Resource Management ACT is one of the reasons our grid is on a par with Chernobyl. The Beehive Commissars are promising reports, reviews and revamps. Be very afraid.

Here in the Soviet Socialist Republic of Aotearoa, Nanny State runs the health system. What does she give us? Waiting lists. How does she reduce the waiting lists? By tearing them up! You don’t get your surgery but you’re no longer on a waiting list because Nanny says you’re not. She’s sent you back to your GP. Now isn’t that reassuring when you’ve got skin cancer. Fat lot of use your GP is there, but Nanny is saying you have to wait till your tumour is really big, by which time it’s more difficult to remove and will probably have metastasised. Nanny’s die-while-you-wait health system is also currently serving up chronic staff shortages and, of course, strikes. Be very … healthy.

Did someone say RMA? Here in the Soviet Socialist Republic of Aotearoa, property developer Dave Henderson, the man who beat the IRD, was told he couldn’t keep the sign, “fivemile.co.nz” he had had mown into a paddock on his Frankton Flats land. He didn’t have resource consent, and could be jailed for two years or fined $200,000. He had mown the sign into the grass because he’d become sick of waiting for Nanny State’s Transit New Zealand and her local bossyboots CivicCorp to decide how big a conventional sign he could erect. Now, the Queenstown Lakes District Council chief executive has magnanimously declined to seek Mr Henderson’s imprisonment and agreed to let the sign stay until it grows over naturally. For Mr Henderson to have a permanent sign he would have had to seek the community’s agreement. We’re waiting for the Queenstown Lakes District Council to take over all the land in its jurisdiction outright, and bring back the glory days of Stalin’s collectives, here in the Soviet Socialist Republic of Aotearoa. Be very fat.

Or might that be … the Islamic Republic of Aotearoa? Abu Bakar Bashir, the cockroach cleric who inspired the Bali bombings, had a message for Australian Prime Minister John Howard when he came out of jail this week: become a Muslim or burn in hell. This to a crowd of thousands of fellow Islamo-fascists screaming and flailing and generally doing what they do so well—behave like crazed monsters. Yes, that was Indonesia, and he was taunting Australia’s Prime Minister, not ours. But let us not forget that the Islamo-fascists over the ditch have demanded Sharia Law be implemented there, and our lone Muslim MP has said it would be proper to stone homosexuals to death. How long before the deeply stupid but vicious and insistent voice of Islamo-fascism is raised concertedly here? Islam is the locus of totalitarian evil in the modern world—and the price of liberty is eternal paranoia. Our Soviet Socialist Republic at least allows a significant degree of free speech still, such as mine right now. An Islamic Republic would allow none, and I and many of you would be beheaded by these super-superstitious savages. Be very alert.

Lindsay Perigo on Radio Live—0800 723 465.

TAGS: Religion, Free_Speech, War, RMA, Politics-NZ, Health