Saturday, 22 April 2006

Worst songs ever written

In the tradition of previous weekends and similar posts here both this year and last, I was putting together a list of the worst songs ever written when I saw this, an invitation to put together a list of the most embarrassing songs in my collection. [Hat tip a presently embarrassing blog.] Perhaps I'll embarrass myself next week. :-) In the meantime, here's a list of the most annoying, most insidious, just downright worst songs ever written -- songs that have not only stood the test of time, but are so bad if they're played in your company you just have to get the hell out. Quickly. Here they are, the top ten songs that really bring up the bile (note the disproportionate number of hippies in the list):
  1. Train in Vain - The Clash
  2. Rhinestone Cowboy - Glenn Campbell
  3. Yellow Submarine - Beatles
  4. Sailing - Rod Stewart
  5. I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston
  6. I Just Called to Say I Love You - Stevie Wonder
  7. Bridge Over Troubled Water - Simon & Garfunkel
  8. Teach Your Children - Crosby, Stills and Nash
  9. Candle in the Wind - Elton John
  10. He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother - The Hollies
Bubbling under: Achy Breaky Heart; Ten Guitars; Shout - Tears for Fears; We Will Rock You; YMCA; Funkytown; Mandy; Bohemian Rhapsody; Green Door; Kumbaya; Lady in Red; O-Bla-Di, O-Bla-Da; Girl from Ipanema; How Deep is Your Love; Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head; Puppet on a String; Tie a Yellow Ribbon; Puppy Love; Both Sides Now; Summer Breeze; Morning Town Ride; ABC; From a Distance. Anything execrable I've missed?

And note, if I've now given you Stuck Tune Syndrome, Maim That Tune helps you detune your head by sticking an even worse tune in your head. Give it a try. It's rather like having someone standing on your left foot so you forget about the pain in the right.

ADDED: Maxwell's Silver Hammer - Beatles; Blowing in the Wind; It's Raining Men; Money for Nothing - Dire Straits; The Gambler; I Will Survive; What's New Pussycat?; Once, Twice, Three Times a Lady.
LINKS: Bad song survey - Not PC
Here are some of the worst songs of all time - Dave Barry, Pop Culture Madness
Nagging bloody music - Not PC
Shame Game - Moody Mama
Maim That Tune

TAGS: Music


  1. Yella sub is a children’s song, initially a B side and a song for Ringo to sing cause he got one every album. Unlike the other songs listed it wasn’t taken seriously by the musicians wot sang it. Maxwell silver hammer is much much worse.

    Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds by William Shatner worse Beatle music ever.

  2. Bridge Over Troubled Waters is a great song - what are you talking about??

  3. What about "its raining Men" AAAAhhhhhhgggggg I just want to kill whenever i hear it.

    and bridge over troubled water is great

  4. Can't say I agree with Train In Vain, mate. The studion vesion off London Calling is a bit tame but the live version is great.

  5. I posted a list yesterday but it has disappeared into the ether. My worst song ever is Howard Morrison singing How Great Thou Art. Anything by Cliff Richard would qualify and really annoying from the seventies - Let Your Love Flow by the Bellamy Bros, Love will keep us together by Captain and Tennille and Bonnie Tyler singing Total Eclipse of the Heart. Low spots for otherwise good artists, The Laughing Gnome by Bowie, I did it my way, Elvis, Can't hurry love by Phil Collins and Santa Claus is coming to town by Bruce Springsteen.

  6. Can I swap the title track from the movie "Lion King" :"A whole new world" - god knows who sang it - for Girl from Ipanema (only if it's the instrumental version though). And you can also have Dave Dobbyn's "Welcome Home" for free.

  7. I Will Always Love You is by Dolly Parton if I recall correctly. In any case, Dolly manages to provide an even more unpleasant version of the song.

  8. Does burning my two Spice girls CDs to the xbox 360 count? Ahh zig a zig ahh!


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