At a candidates meeting with Susan the Libertarian

A report in from the Manukau National Council of Women candidates meeting:

If you get invited to a National Council of Women meeting, my advice is to go to it. It's like visiting your Auntie. Club sandwiches, grapes, cheese and biscuits, wine, cups of tea....mmmmm. Go especially if Susan the Libertarian is speaking. It's a riot.

The Winston First candidate didn't turn up, and the Hard-Labour candidate had a man as a stand in - he was told by the meeting chairwoman to put on a dress before he spoke - and then it was nothing more than the usual Labour blather that we all know and love so dearly.

The Alliance Retard lady looked like Santa, with green and red curly ribbons around her neck. She spouted on about the usual distribution of wealth, minimum wages, "fairness", exploitation... need I go on? [No, Ed. This was probably Alliance Leader Jill Ovens: Head Santa]

The Density church leader Richard Lewis chewed through 3 minutes of his allocated 6 by prattling on about "Family Values" - all jolly nice warming decent stuff, that we all probably respect and understand, but also a bit like being attacked by a rabid blancmange. Basically, he said nothing. Too nice, too fluffy. Nothing of substance. Well, yes there was the odd Socialist reference in there, but all too sleep-inducing to worry about. His swastika was well-hidden beneath his nice suit and tie--not even a black tee-shirt to be seen. Later on he showed his true racist colours, by attacking the ACT candidate about Maori seats.

He then handed over the next 3 minutes to Density's Tamaki Makaurau candidate, Tauwehe Hemahema-Tamati who began grovelling to the assorted Maori attendees with references to ancestors and gods. More time wasted on tribal fluff.

The Green candidate was pathetic. She spent 5 of her 6 minutes showing us a PowerPoint slide show of carefully orchestrated shots of pollution and plastic bags. The final 1 minute was spent talking about pollution and plastic bags. Oh, and" fairness" and "inclusion" and giving money away--ours of course. Very nice.

She certainly didn't like my 2 questions later on: firstly about Sue Bradford's policy from the previous election, about the taxpayer being forced to support the indolent and those who were not interested in working even when work is available-- she wormed out of that one by expressing no knowledge of previous campaigns. My second question asked was if the avowedly anti-American Keith Locke had expressed public sympathy for the victims of the hurricane in the Southern U.S. region. "Oh, of course he has", was the reply, then "it's all because of lack of funding."

I see no press release of the sort on the Green website, so consider her (Irene Bentley?) to be a big fat greenie liar. (But I repeat myself.)

The Maori party fielded a large transvestite - Mama Tere Strickland - who spouted the usual separatism and independence-with-other-people's-money. There were glimpses of humour, and more references to ancestors and gods. The tribal mentality is alive and well in Manukau. Very careful to say "superannuation at 60 for those who have a shorter life-span", rather that "superannuation at 60 for the Tangata Whenua."

The ALCP speaker I felt sorry for. Her points were good - the usual reasons for legalising cannabis, reducing victimless crime, industries that would spring from the crop - clothing, fibre, motor oil, however she unfortunately threw in the race card, the victimisation of Maori and how they always get busted for possession, whereas the white / white collar person did not. That sort of made my interest wain, but I still accept that the bulk of her speech had valid points.

The ACT Pakuranga candidate Bronny Jacobson spoke well, but was grilled by the largely Maori and Polynesians audience over the ACT Party's lack of Maori candidates. It didn't seem to matter to them that ACT have an Indian or a Chinese candidate. No Maori = Racist!

The National Candidate, Fepulea'i Ulua'ipou-O-Malo Aiono, (I admit, I did cut and paste the name--just like Don Brash does)) shuffled like a nervous school girl when asked if she backed the removal of the Maori seats. We could see she didn't personally, but she said she had to be a team player, and that as a National candidate, had to support their abolition. No principles in that area, obviously. However, she firmly believed in a hand up, not a hand out. She was very proud of her Samoan parents coming to NZ, seeking a better life for their family, and even more proud of them not receiving a benefit when they did it. A very experienced, articulate and well travelled lady. Her CV is quite a read. Go to the National website.

Hurricane Susie then stepped up to the plate - unfortunately the meeting organiser couldn't pronounce "Libertarianz," (how many can?) but nevertheless, Susie made it quite clear who she represented. Her opening line was followed by the sound of 60 jaws hitting the ground:

Hello, I'm Susan Ryder, and I'm representing the Libertarianz Party. Now, before we start, I'd like you all to give me your wallets please. Your wallets, please - Now! - give them to me!

Even I was gobsmacked. She made the pertinent points about government theft, taxation, regulation and interference. Susie basically spent six minutes saying "the Government can bugger off out of my life," and the applause at the end of her speech indicated that what she had said impressed people. Although with only six minutes to speak, I'm not sure they all fathomed just how far Susie wanted the Government to bugger off!

Six minutes sounds like a long time, especially if you're the speech writer, but when you have a great orator like Susie, those minutes just fly by.

As always Question Time provided the most fun. A young lady questioned the United Future candidate, Hannah Baral, about United's support of the anti-smacking legislation and her concerns that if she disciplined her child in a shopping mall she could end up in jail. Ms Baral obviously didn't have a clue. Susie then launched into the topic - "defending parent's rights! government busybodies! utter bullshit! if you can wipe your own bum, you can raise kids! bad laws, followed by stupid laws!" - it almost had me on the floor!

Susie received approving noises, and 'kia ora's' and light applause from around the room. The greenie candidate was looking at the floor - her taut mouth indicated she had been sucking on a lemon, and obviously did not like this one little bit. Oh dear! It might upset Ms Bradford!

Predictably, the Commie-Santa was a believer in the socialist mantra: "nanny state knows what's best for your children." During Mount Susie's small eruption, the Communist-Alliance Santa tried to butt in, however our Susie told her to "bloody well shut up - you've had your turn", and continued.

The Density Church people even approved of her speech. She even gave one of our Libz brochures to a Density church member. Cheeky. Love it.

[UPDATE: Susan's speech is online here. Make sure your jaw is safely wired shut before you read it.]