Questions about the Lions tour

The British Lions arrive on Friday, and I find myself wanting two questions about them answered.

First, what the hell are 45 players and 27 support staff from four different countries – all of whom bear a grudge over each others’ country for real or imagined historical slights – what are they going to do once their team starts losing? Will two video analysts, a chef, a lawyer, a ‘kit technician’, ten coaches, three masseurs, and Alastair Campbell help or hinder the arguments?

Second, given Jonny Wilkinson’s, um, unusual stance when kicking for goal and Leyton Hewitt’s temporary withdrawal from top tennis, why isn’t Jonny a top candidate for a Snowtex TV ad? There must surely be a thousand ways you could use him.