Is revenge a dish best eaten cold? Or not eaten at all.
There are moments, writes Allan John, when
the urge for revenge can feel irresistible. We tell ourselves that one bad act warrants another—that striking back will somehow restore justice or bring relief.
But revenge rarely solves the original problem.
And most importantly, it doesn't heal the hurt. The Count of Monte Cristo shows a post-escape life wasted in seeking revenge. The story illustrates the idea that "it doesn’t degrade you when others treat you poorly; it degrades them."
Nick Cave and his wife Susie chose another path: after their son's tragic death, they chose to find happiness "as an act of defiance or 'revenge' against the overwhelming pain." As they say, the best 'revenge' is outrageous success.
You can't choose what others do to you, or what is done to you. But you can choose how to respond, and whom to become. As the philosopher Diogenes observed, "How shall I defend myself against my enemy? By proving myself good and honourable."
It might be self-defeating. But that doesn't mean it don't feel good. Here's a Nick Cave song revenging himself on a critic, from a few years before his epiphany ...
2 comments:
As the saying goes, "Hating someone, like revenge, is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die."
This is good advice for people (like you, me, and probably Nick Cave) who are naturally more active (or even aggressive) in trying to right wrongs. We sometimes take it too far, to our own detriment. We’re a minority though, at least in the current culture. Most would benefit from going the other direction - being more active and aggressive when wronged, not less.
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