'Selfishness' without a self
"It’s what I couldn’t understand about people for a long time. They have no self. They live within others. They live second-hand. ...
"[T]oo selfish? In what act or thought of [theirs] has there ever been a self? ... [Their] aim in life? Greatness — in other people’s eyes. Fame, admiration, envy — all that which comes from others. ... [They do]n’t want to be great, but to be thought great. ... There’s your actual selflessness. ... But everybody calls [that] selfish. . . .
“Isn’t that the root of every despicable action? Not selfishness, but precisely the absence of a self. Look at them. The man who cheats and lies, but preserves a respectable front. He knows himself to be dishonest, but others think he’s honest and he derives his self-respect from that, second-hand. The man who takes credit for an achievement which is not his own. He knows himself to be mediocre, but he’s great in the eyes of others. The frustrated wretch who professes love for the inferior and clings to those less endowed, in order to establish his own superiority by comparison. . . . They’re second-handers. . . .
“They have no concern for facts, ideas, work. They’re concerned only with people. They don’t ask: ‘Is this true?’ They ask: ‘Is this what others think is true?’ ...
"Their reality is not within them, but somewhere in that space which divides one human body from another. Not an entity, but a relation — anchored to nothing. That’s the emptiness I couldn’t understand in people. That’s what stopped me whenever I faced a committee. Men without an ego. Opinion without a rational process. Motion without brakes or motor. Power without responsibility."~ Ayn Rand, the character Howard Roark speaking, from her novel The Fountainhead — excerpted as part of 'The Nature of the Second-Hander' in her book For the New Intellectual
1 comment:
I first read this around 35 years ago, and it was a great introduction to the concept of second handedness. Today these men that Rand was describing are obvious standouts and can easily be identified.
Yet over the years I’ve also discovered there’s a less severe and not so obvious element of second handedness that more commonly afflicts decent people, myself included at times.
It’s the idea first popularised by Robert Grover as the ‘covert contract’ - the assumption that if you as a man are good and do good and honourable things, others will reward you by meeting your needs and you having a problem free life .
It’s usually not as bad as what Rand was describing, because it may well be you are actually doing objectively good things, according to your own individual values. Yet it’s still second handed because you’re expecting others to reward you with their appreciation, without making your expectations overt, and without getting their buy in to what you’re offering in return. It’s essentially a narcissistic fantasy.
Covert contracts are incredibly common, and they’re a pathway to misery. Being aware of them, and changing your outlook to avoid them can be incredibly enlightening.
You need to do good and honourable things because it benefits you, for no other reason, and with no other expectation imposed on others. If others appreciate what you’re doing and choose to join you that’s a bonus, but it cannot be your primary aim.
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