Thursday, 8 December 2011

Office drinking

imageSince office Xmas party time is almost here again, here’s a handy drinking guide for your next office Xmas party, including tips to adjust your intake. For example,  if:

• Your immediate boss is drunk enough to be slurring his or her speech. +1 drink
• There is no real food at the party. -2 drinks
• You have a meeting the next morning before 10 a.m. -1 drink
• There are shareholders at the party. -1 drink for each one you'll have to meet
• You have a crush on someone at the office, and either they, or you, is married. Have zero drinks — trust me
• You have a crush on someone at the office and you are both single. +1 drink, and make sure you don't have anything in your teeth
• Wrestling of any kind breaks out among co-workers. +3 drinks
• That intern actually does have some pretty good weed. +1 joint

In the end, what you really want to do is let yourself have a good time, while keeping in mind that things can get out of hand much more easily than you might think. But if they do, it's not like ripping off your shirt and singing ABBA to your boss is the end of the world, right? Right?

More handy Xmas hints soon.

Including good places to hide the office bottle.


  1. It is about time the Gummint banned office parties on account of too much of a good time being had by those involved and too many others missing out.

    Mind you, by that criteria, sex would have to be next.

  2. Interesting. Out of curiosity what year does the photo come from...late 1960s?

    Chris R.

  3. @Chris: Late fifties. The guy who posted it is in the one in front hanging on to the blonde.

    He reckons that he's getting eyed up prospectively by the brunette just in case he lets go...

  4. @Kiwiwit: It already has been banned.

    Maybe you didn't get that memo.


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