Tuesday 29 June 2010

That’s all, England [updated

One of the many pleasures in watching English teams lose is watching the ferocity with which English supporters turn on their own teams; and The Sun, who have collected a host of jokes already posted  “after what has been seen as England's worst World Cup performance ever” (a phrase you might find useful to remember next time you drink with English folk).

Show's over ... Wayne's World Cup is finished

- The England team visited an orphanage in Cape Town today. "It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope," said Jamal, aged six.

- I hear Oxo are making a new product. The packaging is white with a red cross. They're calling it the laughing stock.

- What's the difference between the England team and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

- News Flash: Huge spike in sales of pink fairy tutus at Glastonbury Festival by blokes too embarrassed to wear their England shirt.

- What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A referee.

- Three hours of football and Robert Green is still England's top scorer.

- Apparently that fan had no trouble slipping into the England dressing room Robert Green was guarding the door.

- I can't believe we only managed a draw against a rubbish team we should easily have beaten. . . . I'm ashamed to call myself Algerian.

- What does the Englishman do when England wins the World Cup? He switches off the PlayStation.

- What's the difference between Wayne Rooney and Shrek? Shrek can save the day.

Time to re- watch and enjoy a few of Nike’s brilliant “Write the Future” ads, a great expression of free will and causality…

2 comments:

Julian said...

"Thank Heaven The Few didn't defend as badly as England's footballers in Bloemfontein yesterday afternoon, otherwise we'd all be speaking German."

Daily Mail

James Stephenson said...

I think maybe the English football team need to learn from their Rugby and Cricket teams...have South Africa got any spare players?