Wednesday, 24 February 2010

And lo, a miracle!

6a00d83451d75d69e20120a6fadc2a970b-320wi I was fascinated to discover that Steven Joyce, that former example of hard-nosed and successful entrepreneurial ability, has now metamorphosed during his sort time in the ministerial saddle into a more soft-shelled being with an almost mystic belief in the power of legislation.

Case in point: Confronting the problem that Telecom’s XT customers are unable for large periods of time to access emergency services when they dial 111 (or any other service when they dial anything else) Mr Joyce says he may “introduce regulation forcing telcos to ensure New Zealanders can connect to 111 emergency services from their cellphones even when networks are unstable.”

Has he not heard of King Canute?  From whence, one wonders, comes the power of legislation to do the impossible—to reverse the tides; to heal the sick; and to allow NZers to make contact with emergency services “even when” one telephone is manifestly unable to communicate with another one?  The power can only come, I suggest, from a belief in the magic properties of Govermentium, that magic ingredient which at the stroke of a legislative pen allows a rising minister to verily do the impossible. And yea, even to create connections with other telecommunications devices when there are none!

I look forward to legislation being introduced into the house forthwith to repeal gravity.  And minister’s credit card bills.


  1. Brilliant post!!!

    God my pet hate is bloody politicians who seem to think that every time someone farts they need to dream up another friggin' law to control it.

    Joyce is a classic case who seems to have been overwhelmed with the trappings of power, I hope he gets over it!

  2. Actually, the technology exists.

    In Australia, mobile phones connect with 000 regardless of whether your own mobile network is operating or in range. If your phone won't connect to 000 via your network, it will seek out another network and connect over that one.

    It sounds like that is what he is talking about.

  3. Who gives a shit?


    Why is it important that a mobile phone can call 111 or whatever if the cell network is down? If consumers require that feature, then they'll demand it and whichever provider can supply it will win greater market share. If consumers do not want that service, then it won't pay for providers to add that feature and they'll have to find something else that people want instead.

    No need for govt imbecility.


  4. Fat useless fuckwit, if brains were dynamite this fuckwit couldn't blow his nose.
    Joyce is just another born to rule fascist bastard.
    Love you all,

  5. Simple steps to fix mobile networks:

    1. Declare the property rights of mobile phone network operators will be returned, so there will be no new compulsory roaming agreements.
    2. Repeal the RMA so that property rights apply to the siting of mobile phone transceivers.
    3. End any regulatory role for the state for mobile phone retail, wholesale and interconnection rates.
    4. Tell the public, caveat emptor.


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