I was fascinated to discover that Steven Joyce, that former example of hard-nosed and successful entrepreneurial ability, has now metamorphosed during his sort time in the ministerial saddle into a more soft-shelled being with an almost mystic belief in the power of legislation.
Case in point: Confronting the problem that Telecom’s XT customers are unable for large periods of time to access emergency services when they dial 111 (or any other service when they dial anything else) Mr Joyce says he may “introduce regulation forcing telcos to ensure New Zealanders can connect to 111 emergency services from their cellphones even when networks are unstable.”
Has he not heard of King Canute? From whence, one wonders, comes the power of legislation to do the impossible—to reverse the tides; to heal the sick; and to allow NZers to make contact with emergency services “even when” one telephone is manifestly unable to communicate with another one? The power can only come, I suggest, from a belief in the magic properties of Govermentium, that magic ingredient which at the stroke of a legislative pen allows a rising minister to verily do the impossible. And yea, even to create connections with other telecommunications devices when there are none!
I look forward to legislation being introduced into the house forthwith to repeal gravity. And minister’s credit card bills.