Libertarianz leader Dr Richard McGrath takes his regularly irreverent look at some of the past week’s headlines.
1. Safety fear as Key car speeds – Nearly five years since Helen Clark’s government vehicle averaged nearly 130 km/h to catch a plane flight to a rugby game she admits held no interest for her, we have Speedgate 2 – John Key’s car, according to journalists who were there, reaching 120 km/h on a road in Samoa with a designated limit of 40 km/h. Key’s mouthpiece, Kevin Taylor, reckons the convoy didn’t break much more than 65 km/h. John, this is embarrassing. Get your facts straight. If you can’t reach a decent speed, at least kill the whole story. It is alleged that Helen’s car got to 170 km/h between Waimate and Christchurch. For goodness sake, 65 km/h isn’t in the same ballpark. Shame on the wimp who was driving you around Samoa, John. A real man would have tossed the driver out the door and put foot to the firewall. Full speed ahead, and damn the torpedoes. Villagers and dogs who got in the way could always be written off as tsunami victims. Memo to John: study the car chase in the Steve McQueen film Bullitt, and next time try harder.
2. Taito Philip Field makes Labour squirm – Oh dear. Labour are circling the wagons after the incarceration of former poster boy T. P. Field. After defending him for a year, and emasculating Auckland QC Noel Ingram’s initial attempts to investigate an allegation of conflict of interest against Mr Field, Labour politicians find themselves in the unlikely position of having little or nothing to say, apart from some mumblings about New Zealanders being equal under the law. Oh, except if you’re the Prime Minister and your car is doing 170 km/h on the way to the airport. The rest of us are cash cows for the traffic Stasi. One irony of the whole sorry T. P. Field saga is that he was earlier convicted and fined $20,000 for a non-crime: converting a garage into a family room and a carport into a garage. Nice to see politicians getting a taste of their own fascism.
3. Fiordland listing a ‘disgrace’ – We’ve been told the government is considering opening Fiordland up to oil and mineral exploration. Hurrah! The Greens are trying to kill this attempt to lessen our dependence on oil imports. Sheesh. Green co-leader Metiria Turei (the Greens don’t think a female could take on the leader’s role without a male to hold her hand) says “they are keen to mine our most precious parks.” And why not? Mankind’s whole existence has relied on adapting the environment to our needs. If the skill of fire-lighting had not been utilized, millions of us would have perished in the cold. Oil exploration is a corollary of mankind’s rightful domination of this planet and the harnessing of natural resources to further the survival of our species. Once again the Greens wrap their anti-human, anti-life agenda in a veneer of compassion and expect us to lap it up. But Metiria needn’t worry – the invertebrates on the Treasury benches are starting to back down already. “Claims that the government is considering granting oil companies exploration licenses in the Fiordland National Park are simply hysterical!” sobbed Energy and Resources Minister Gerry Brownlee, after caving in to extreme pressure from Green Party cabinet minister Nick Smith.
See y’all next week!