Friday, 4 September 2009

How do **you** deal with the petty fascists?

I’ve mentioned before a chap in England who used to show up at the local council offices with a muck-spreader every time the council hiked the rates.  Painting their windows with sewage might not have reduced his rates bill, but it sure as hell told the petty fascists inside that there wasn’t very much love for them outside.

So cut now to Whangarei and to a chap called Alan Agnew who’ was told – told? the bastards are insisting! – that he must – MUST! – fill out his date of birth on the council’s bloody form to register his dog.

Over and over he’s been told, and over and over he’s told the bastards it’s none of their goddamned business,  until finally Alan Agnew snaps: he shoots the dog and dumps it on the council’s steps.  Not much good for the dog, but it sure as hell made Alan feel a little better.

We all do mad things under pressure, and those perfect bastards at council offices know how to drive the blood pressure up.

So short of muck-spreading and dog-shooting, what to you do to release your anger when the cardigan-wearing petty fascists are on the march?  Come on, I know you’ve got some stories to tell.

I could easily do with trying one or two myself at the moment.


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  2. Most lackadaisical 'petty fascists'/Civil Servants I deal with seem to be Maoris, so I do what I always do - pull rank (works splendidly!) ..HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

  3. Heard this one years ago but can't verify it.

    Down The Coast [where else?] a pensioner whitebaiter got pinged by IRD for selling some of his fresh catch to a passer-by. He got told he had to pay withholding tax at the high 40% rate. That afternoon he visited the tax office with his day's catch and tipped 4/10ths of it over the front desk.

  4. Dang! I wished I knew Alan Agnew before shot his dog. I could have offered him to cook his dog on an umu (hangi), then take the delicious whole thing to the council's building and invite them to join us for a lunch there.

  5. I had exactly the same drama some years back

    I finally backed down, - I gave them my date of birth in Roman numerals - fuck them

  6. TK, perhaps you're mistaken? I recognise the 'C' as being 100, but I'm pretty sure that in Roman numerals there's no 'F,' 'U' or 'K.'



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