Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Aren't we over the bloody haka yet?

Making the mistake of watching Mark Sainsbury last night, in the vain hope of hearing an intelligent question asked of NZ's medal-winning Olympians, I was amused to see that after winning gold, silver and bronze medals in the toughest competition in the world, they got back to their athletes' village to celebrate and were met by a bunch of savages beating their chests -- or, more specifically, a bunch of highly tuned athletes who should know better impersonating a bunch of bloody savages beating their chests.

Aren't we over the bloody haka yet?

It gets done when visitors arrive.

It gets done when they leave.

It gets done before sports games.

It gets done after sports games.

It gets done to show respect.

It gets done to show disrespect.

It gets done to say, "Good onya."

It gets done to say, "Fuck you."

Oddly, based on the actual origins of the haka, it's only the last of these sentiments that is even close to 'appropriate.' Waving your arms around and poking your tongue out now seems to be the 'right on' thing to do on every bloody occasion, no matter how pacific, regardless that is was traditionally only performed as a portent of cannibalism.

And how ridiculous are most of the hakas anyway? The most well known, the 'Kamate Kamate' rigmarole in which boys from Kings College like Ali Williams get to roll their eyes and poke their tongue out, is about a 'warrior' whose bravery consisted of hiding in a food pit underneath an old woman's skirts while his enemies looked in vain for him up above. (Apparently it was unthinkable that a warrior would hide in a food pit, and a woman's genitals were thought to have a shielding effect -- when Ali chants "Tenei Te Tangata Puhuruhuru," what he's actually saying is, "Who is this hairy person?")

Top stuff, huh?

Time to let the haka go.

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26 Comments:

Blogger Elijah Lineberry said...

Yes, all this Mordi nonsense is rather a bore...*sigh*...the sooner we develop some sort of 'Western Civilisation' ritual prior to sporting events and to greet people, the better.

8/19/2008 09:49:00 am  
Anonymous Sean said...

Couldn't agree more with this post PC!

8/19/2008 10:02:00 am  
Blogger Dave Mann said...

Yes, Peter. Well said!

8/19/2008 10:41:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I haven't noticed any hakas during my viewing of the Olympics so far but I was unlucky enough to se a New Zealand reporter interviewing the Irish chap who got into the 200 metre semi-final.

She went on and on about how every other person in the race was black, and how did the Irish guy, being white, feel about that.

The Irish guy was rolling his eyes and had to repeat himself over and over that it didn't matter, he didn't think about it, and they were just normal competitors to him.

The reporter managed to give the imprssion that she was a vaguely racist, useless bint.

8/19/2008 10:47:00 am  
Anonymous Ariel said...

Its time for the Libz to kick out fuckers like Elijah. His uneducated snipes here at Not PC drive away people who might have agreed with what Libertarians stand for. The (wo)man is a fucking racist.

Young guns in the Libz such as Luke, Mitch, Bernard, should breakaway and form a true Libertarianz party, not based on racism such as supported by PC, Elijah and Perigo.

8/19/2008 11:22:00 am  
Blogger PC said...

Ruth seems to have changed her name to Ariel.

How's the breakaway party progressing, dear?

8/19/2008 11:41:00 am  
Anonymous Ariel said...

Ruth seems to have changed her name to Ariel

Ruth who? Sorry I am no Ruth or suppose to know a Ruth. I am astounded at the level of racism that this Elijah woman is spewing out on your nice blog. He has just appeared from nowhere (about mid 2007) and claimed to be a libertarian.

Look PC, it is the likes of Luke, Bernard, Mitch, Tim Whikiriwhi that the future of the Libz lies. They have fresh ideas and ready to get out there and engage with the general population, which is unlike Elijah, he snipes from the sideline and criticizes the young guns who are actually out there doing something for the Libz.

The sooner you kick out this Elijah , the better it is for the young guns to do their job in promoting the Libz philosophies and not being constantly criticize by fuckers like Elijah.

8/19/2008 12:36:00 pm  
Blogger Molerats said...

Ive had the misfortune of hearing a Canadian sing the Haka with his girlfriend on a Barmy Army support bus.

Death threats came thick and fast.

Good post!

8/19/2008 01:00:00 pm  
Anonymous Sus said...

Over the haka? Years ago, sadly. I used to love watching it as a kid. It was always a highlight of All Black matches for me.

But that's before it was politicised. Or hijacked. Take your pick.

Racist? Of course not. I abhor racism, sexism & that sort of stupidity.

But libertarianism, by definition, respects & protects freedom of speech, whether I like one's speech or not. Says it all, really.

8/19/2008 01:02:00 pm  
Blogger Mark Hubbard said...

Hear hear. The Haka has a place, but I'm sick to death with hearing the damned thing absolutely everywhere.

It's insane how and where it is being used!

(Virtual Haka to finish off my post, apparently.)

8/19/2008 01:22:00 pm  
Blogger Dave Mann said...

Well, Ariel, I'm not a paid-up Libertarian, but nevertheless I find the idea of someone being 'kicked out' of the Libertarianz for excercising their right to speak out freely against brainwashing and political correctness to be absolutely laughable.

I hope the breakaway, more culturally correct,tribally infused NewLibz goes well for you. But somehow the idea sounds somwhat cannibalistic.

8/19/2008 01:26:00 pm  
Blogger Clunking Fist said...

Actually, isn't it very NON-PC to do the hake if you be a skinny white fella? So the jokes on them. I saw the piece too, and the poor rowers didn't know where to look.

I love the haka...but not when done every two minutes by white folk and islanders.

8/19/2008 01:33:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am in favour of using any method within our grasp [bagpipes excepted] to intimidate our opponents before we humiliate them at rugby -- particularly if the opposition is South African or Australian. And I am personally in favour of a post-drubbing hangi with the losing Poms as fare.

So all you skinny white boys, tatted and matted horis and our island brethren -- once more, take it from the top "Ka mate, ka mate..."

George

8/19/2008 01:51:00 pm  
Anonymous Sus said...

".. using any method .. to intimidate our opponents .."

But that's just it George. I don't think it intimidates anybody - especially the guys at top level footie.

Worse, while the foreign crowds might get a kick out of it, I get the feeling the footballers are quietly scornful of, if not laughing at it.

8/19/2008 02:02:00 pm  
Anonymous richard mcgrath said...

If you don't like the haka, you are always free to cancel your subscription to Sky Sport as a protest - or contact the rugby union and suggest they leave it out of the pre-match routine.

That's better than being forced to fund a state-run TV sports service whether or not you like the programmes being screened by it.

Ariel, one of the great things about belonging to Libertarianz is that we don't march in lockstep like programmed robots. We defend freedom of speech and therefore have to tolerate (which does not necessarily mean condone) differing views from our members, as long as ultimately we support the ideas of freedom and limited government.

Thus, views which may offend others can be expressed freely. I don't necessarily agree with everything Elijah says, but then again I don't have to. He has a right to his personal opinions.

As far as my two cents worth is concerned, I believe the haka is an obsolete relic of a savage and brutal culture. But it is up to the rugby fraternity whether their players use it or not.

8/19/2008 03:17:00 pm  
Blogger Oswald Bastable said...

It's a bloody primate threat display.

Just the thing before a game of rugby, which is just stylized tribal warfare!

But not as a 'greeting'

8/19/2008 07:56:00 pm  
Anonymous LGM said...

"Kill, kill, kill."

and

"There is some grandmother's grey muff sitting on my face."

Kiwi culture at its best? Sad stuff. Really, really sad.

LGM

8/20/2008 07:22:00 am  
Blogger Clunking Fist said...

LGM, I think the more that we are told to think in a certain way, to refrain from tried and true methods of living our lives, and that we must accept foreign customs over our own, the more the average kiwi says "kill, kill, kill".

8/20/2008 02:56:00 pm  
Anonymous LGM said...

Clunking Fist

Really?

That's nice.

So, what does your "average" Kiwi say about some granny's grey muff on his face? After all, that's what is being shouted out to the World as representative of his "culture."

LGM

8/20/2008 05:00:00 pm  
Blogger Clunking Fist said...

LGM, most of thw world doesn't really notice, like 99% of the world's cultural icons, they are meaningless to outsiders and pass by unnoticed. Other than a few rugby fans, few know (or care) about the haka. But like the jandles, L&P and Pineapple lumps, they sometimes mean something to the target audience.

Do you suffer cultural cringe?

8/20/2008 05:58:00 pm  
Anonymous LGM said...

Clunker

People may not notice- pathetic excuse. Says a lot about you; trying to defend something by hoping no-one notices it or understands what it's nature actually is...

BTW it isn't my culture or even a part of it.

Meanwhile, back to your grey muff dance you go.

LGM

8/20/2008 07:27:00 pm  
Blogger Clunking Fist said...

So it's not part of your culture? Then don't join in if asked (I imagine you won’t be).
Maori culture and the muff dance are no more ridiculous than the tea ceremony, the opening of the British Parliament, Holy Communion, a rodeo, Mexico’s day of the dead or the running of the bulls. Lighten up, dude!
:^)

8/20/2008 07:56:00 pm  
Blogger Eric Olthwaite said...

Yes, we are over the bloody Haka. Making to the airport is not an achievement, nor are aircraft so frightening as to necessitate a war dance.

Anyone else remember the incredibly amusing fracas that occurred a few years ago when the head of the Greek Orthodox Church came out to be greeted by a haka at the airport, the chap's minders thought he was quite literally going to be attacked.

8/21/2008 01:53:00 pm  
Anonymous TWR said...

I think a few of you have missed the point of the original comment, which is that the haka like all the indigenous stuff is overdone these days. It's a harmless bit of fun ahead of a test match, but it's painful and embarrassing when it's done over and over at every possible occasion.

8/24/2008 06:51:00 pm  
Anonymous twr said...

Another bloody haka: http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/2427007/Attacker-performed-haka-court-hears

5/20/2009 01:52:00 pm  
Blogger Clunking Fist said...

Yeah, but twr they made their getaway in one of them "cars".

Fucking cars, they ought to be banned...

5/20/2009 06:52:00 pm  

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