Thursday, 1 November 2007

Libz welcome reshuffle

Now that the role of Minister for Auckland Issues has been dropped and Judith Tizard's only remaining portfolio is that of Minister for the Prime Minister's Handbag, Bernard Darnton has some congratulations and some advice:
Libz Leader Congratulates Clark for Dropping Auckland Portfolio
"Congratulations are due to Helen Clark today for getting rid of the Auckland Issues portfolio," Libertarianz leader Bernard Darnton said today.

"I have no doubt that Aucklanders are perfectly capable of getting on with their own lives without interference from Wellington, and it's great to see the Prime Minister recognise that."

Ever willing to help, Darnton also offered advice on other portfolios that could be abandoned: "With the recognition that Aucklanders can look after themselves we should also let others off the leash too. We could get rid of the portfolios for the Community and Voluntary Sector, Consumer Affairs, Disability Issues, Ethnic Affairs, Maori Affairs, Pacific Island Affairs, Rural Affairs, Veterans' Affairs, Women's Affairs, and Youth Affairs. I look forward to all of these groups being allowed to breath the fresh air of freedom that's been granted to Auckland."
And Libz deputy Dr Richard McGrath welcomes David 'Silent T' to his new post in the health ministry:
New Health Minister: "Socialist Who Can Count"
Libertarianz spokesman Richard McGrath sees little hope for those dependent on the state for their health care, following the appointment of David Cunliffe as Health Minister.

"In his maiden speech to parliament, David Cunliffe described himself as a 'socialist who can count'. Can he count the number of New Zealanders shoved back to their GPs from public hospitals because they have failed to even get an appointment with a specialist? Can he count the number who, taxed into poverty, have died on public hospital surgical waiting lists?"

"This is the man who champions the political system that consigned untold millions of Eastern Europeans to poverty, misery and environmental devastation," said Dr McGrath. "David Cunliffe believes politicians can - and should - control and plan the lives of New Zealanders. When he spoke of the 'dumb hand' of the market in that dripping wet, politically correct tirade, he insulted all New Zealanders. For what is the market but the sum total of the economic decisions of individual people?"

"The Libertarianz Party believes that the less well-off should not be taxed at all, and that people should be left free to plan their health care without having to use the embarrassingly run-down public health system that Labour has been trying to 'fix' for the last eight years."

"It's enough to make you vote Libertarianz!"

And there's even a welcome to the new environment minister ...
Libz call for RMA uppercut from new environment minister
"I look forward to new environment minister Trevor Mallard defending property rights with the same vigour with which he defends his mistress's honour," says Libertarianz environment deregulation spokesman Peter Cresswell, who has now seen twelve years of environment ministers come and go, and property rights protection savaged by each passing minister.

"Speaking of affairs," says Cresswell, "I look forward to a swift and long overdue short-arm uppercut to the Resource Management Act so that New Zealanders can get on with their own affairs without the encumbrance of bureaucratic bullshit and ministerial bullying it empowers.

"Given the crucial importance of property rights in human affairs and to the freedom and prosperity we would all like to enjoy if we could -- and the all-encompassing role of fourteen years of so called environmental legislation in trampling on New Zealanders' property rights -- I'd recommend he begin his new job by committing violence on the RMA instead of other New Zealanders.

"Instead of inserting Heineken bottles in the nether regions of IRB officials, he should drive a stake right through through the heart of the RMA and the bureaucracies it supports, and free up common law methods of environmental and property rights protection to do their job properly."

"If Mallard himself is doing his job properly," concludes Cresswell, "he should get his head around the affront to human affairs that is the Resource Management Act, and deal to with the same aggression he applies to those issues which affront him. If he does, I'll be happy to shout him a bottle of Heineken myself."
Look forward to more congratulations later ...


  1. Slow morning. The "silent 'T'" took me a while... :D

  2. A socialist who can count? That does make him rather special


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