Sunday, August 19, 2007

The story of the foreskins.

Another fine story from the book in which one really shouldn't seek good rules for living. Today, the story of David.

Jesus, the book tells us, was "the son of David." He was, the book tells us, born into "the Kingdom of David." So what do we know about this David that makes him so all-fired admirable? Fortunately, for you, The Brick Testament tells the story of this good bastard, and in pictures!
My own favourite is the story of the foreskins: How David slew 187 Philistines in order to harvest their foreskins (picture above) to buy himself a wife. He kept collecting wives for some reason, including having his God kill men in order get their wives, but never again did he get such a good price for so few foreskins.

Truly, you might think, here beholdeth a good bastard, and a fine example for young men to follow.

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6 Comments:

Anonymous abdul the butcher said...

What is it with these religio types? They have a fixation with chopping and cutting people's private parts. I mean, come on. We've got the Moslems cutting up their women/girls and the Jews and the Christians cutting up their men/boys. What is it in religion that leads people to such perversion?

Pack of weirdos.

Abdul the Butcher

8/19/2007 07:10:00 pm  
Blogger Mark said...

We just have an aversion to smegma, I guess...

8/20/2007 03:05:00 am  
Blogger Berend de Boer said...

Yeah, I'm glad we live in enlightened times were we only chop little babies in parts.

On the context: Israel was at war with the Philistines. As proof that David was worthy, David's king, Saul, asked him to war against the Philistines, and as proof bring of their death bring home their foreskins. It's a slightly strange test of loyalty, but Saul had his moments. David remained loyal to his king, even after this request.

8/20/2007 08:04:00 am  
Blogger Matt B said...

What is it in religion that leads people to such perversion?

It is the appeal to absolute authority that does it. The authority doesn't have to be supernatural, either, though it usually is. Provided the authority is considered beyond question by its followers, they abandon all other moral precepts. Why is a mystery.

I have never met an unkind Japanese person, yet under the authority of their deified emperor 65 years ago they behaved appallingly. There is unlimited power and, therefore, potential for abuse in absolute authority.

8/20/2007 05:10:00 pm  
Anonymous Abdul the Butcher said...

Matt B

Yes, I guess that's part of the trouble. They can justify their evil by saying that some supernatural authority says it's OK. That's one trouble with religion. It justifies the most shocking behaviours simply by wishing in a myth.

Basically though, religionists are plain mad. Nuts. Insane. Yes, mentally ill. In the end it's a mental illness they have- a most dangerous one.

Abdul the Butcher

8/22/2007 10:49:00 am  
Anonymous Sus said...

Abdul & Matt B: I reckon it's simpler than that. It's essentially about power & greed.

Historically, people have done the most appalling things for power & (others) riches - in the name of some god, or no god at all. (Admittedly, a god's always handy to use if there's one lying around).

Look at what the French king (Phillip IV from memory?) did to the Knights Templar via the French Inquisition in the early 1300s. Torture beyond belief. I couldn't even bear to read most of it; was almost dry-retching after the first sentence. And that was an example of Christians torturing other Christians - on the premise that the latter were defiling Christ. (Oh, and engaging in homosexual activity which was apparently right up there with defiling the cross).

Whether they did or not is still debatable, considering the manner in which the 'confessions' were secured, etc.

But what's not up for discussion is that Phillip envied their power, massive wealth and Papal protection. Unsurprisingly, when the dust settled, he wound up doing very nicely thank you, from the ensuing spoils!

Jihad, Inquisition, Pol Pot's 'peasant' revolution. It's all about land and/or resources, kids! There's always some miserable bastard who wants whatcha got, and will use any excuse to grab it! :)

8/22/2007 12:21:00 pm  

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