Saturday, April 07, 2007

There's nothing sadder

Tonight, my friendly local superette was prohibited from selling me a beer. Or any drinks at all. His coolstore doors were locked -- locked by the Easter Trading Laws that are based on a christian holiday.

He's a Sikh and I'm an atheist -- and neither of us has any time for christians -- but for him to sell me any alcohol today would be illegal. It's banned. It's banned by a law that is currently upheld by self-proclaimed agnostics and promoted by lion chasers, whose own idol was once supposed to have turned water into wine and whose death this day is supposed to commemorate. But without wine.

There's enough ironies there to turn a good man to drink . . . if only he could get one. There really is nothing sadder than a bottle store with no beer -- or at least no beer that he can legally sell.

And let's not even get me started on how the christians hijacked a good pagan fertility festival to mark the coming of spring to the northern hemisphere, and turned it into a sackcloth and ashes drama about suffering and death.

Speaking of suffering and death, let me exhort you not to be tempted to endure Mel Gibson's uber-christian gore-fest this Easter -- after which you really would need a stiff drink. If you really do feel compelled to watch something religious this Easter, please make it something worthwhile like 'Life of Brian' . . .

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6 Comments:

Blogger HORansome said...

Point of order, Mr. Cresswell: The Christians, in fact, hijacked a Jewish festival (Passover) which just happens to occur at the same time as a variety of other festivals. And it's not as if it were hijacked, per se, seeing that the whole Easter story is set at Passover. The bit about not letting us drink on Good Friday is a tad, confusing, though, seeing that the Last Supper apparently had a remarkable interesting vintage...

4/07/2007 12:31:00 am  
Blogger PC said...

But what about them Bunnies, huh? And all those delicious Easter Eggs?

You don't think they might have more to do with fertility than killing the first-born?

4/07/2007 10:03:00 am  
Blogger HORansome said...

Well, the giving of eggs at Easter is actually a Passover custom. The rabbit as a fertility symbol is ancient (because, well, they breed like rabbits, don't they?) and we don't really know much about its ancestry. The notion that rabbits were an especially pagan, symbol (the Eostre story), however, is a fairly modern invention, however, dating back to the latter part of last century.

It also should be pointed out that whilst eggs are a common feature in global Easter celebrations, bunnies aren't. A lot of Christian cultures don't feature the bunny as an Easter symbol.

4/07/2007 11:15:00 am  
Blogger Craig Ranapia said...

It's banned by a law that is currently upheld by self-proclaimed agnostics and promoted by lion chasers, whose own idol was once supposed to have turned water into wine and whose death this day is supposed to commemorate. But without wine.

Oh, leave me the fuck out of that one PC. I may well be a horrible Christianist, but feel quite relaxed about going about my religious observances without Church or State shoving their well-lubricated beaks into your affairs. And if the manager of your local superette chooses to open on Christmas Day and Good Friday -- and perhaps close up shop next Saturday to celebrate Vaisakhi and every other festal day on the Sikh calendar - I don't give the proverbial rodent's rectum.

Wonder when Parliament will do the same?

4/07/2007 12:20:00 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's no doubt that being unable to buy alcohol on 3 and a half days a year represents the worst excesses of a totalitarian state. Having to go without beer on Good Friday is an intolerable imposition on freedom. Actually for your information there is a loophole in the law that you could exploit and that would be to buy extra beer on Thursday. Granted it is an insufferable burden but it is quite legal.

4/07/2007 12:58:00 pm  
Blogger Greig McGill said...

On the plus side, a holiday is a great time to brew your own beer. I did. :)

4/07/2007 04:04:00 pm  

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