"Saying 'that's just the way I am' is a missed opportunity for growth.
"Personality is not your destiny. It's your tendency. No one is limited to a single way of thinking, feeling, or acting.
"Who you are is not about the traits you have. It's what you decide to do with them."
~ psychologist Adam Grant [hat tip Jeffrey Young]
Yes and no. Yes when it comes to weaknesses that are effecting you negatively in a significant way, and you're capable of improvement. No when it comes to natural talents and dispositions that mean you're better to focus on what you are naturally good at, rather than struggle to master something you have no aptitude for.
ReplyDeleteFor instance being able to draw, or perform music is something I have no natural talent for, and trying to change that would offer a poor return compared to other areas where I have more natural talent, and can get a better return on investment of my time.
I don't think Mr Grant disagrees with you.
ReplyDeleteTraits are both strengths and weaknesses. We can choose to focus on either, if we do choose --and because we have free will, we can choose.
Tibor Machan used to talk about this as the bit that all the nature-nurture 'debates' miss: in his terminology, the traits we're born with, and grow up with, are the traits we *have,* which he calls our 'personality.' It's what we choose to *do* with those various traits that he says form our 'character' -- and it's those choices that are far more important than either gens or environment.
Completely agree. I suppose "That's just the way I am” is most often used as a cop-out by those attributing too much determining power to nature or nurture, and not enough to free will. But once you get beyond the point of wanting a cop-out and instead wanting to exercise your free will in the most effective way possible, "That's just the way I am!" signifies you’re recognising reality.
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