Yes folks, the cats are striking back against Gareth Bloody Morgan—the alleged economist who reckons your favourite family pet should be killed off to satisfy his fondness for fauna.
The man who took a soccer team and killed it off to satisfy his fondness for megalomaniacal meddling.
The monetary moron who takes on farmers by calling them “retards,” and fans of his losing team “pathetic.”
The investment non-adviser who took your KiwiSaver dollars, and turned them rapidly into cents.
Yes folks, it’s clear that Captain Morgan not only lacks any basic human quality other than self-regard, any ability in the field of football or farming—or even in the field of penguins—he lacks even the ability (in what is supposed to be his specialist subject) to beat or better the market, belief in which ability would presumably have been the reason so many of you gave so much to his failing fund.
Yet while it’s clear that while Gareth has no ability whatsoever to beat the market—as his five years of piss-poor returns amply demonstrates—we read in the Guardian today that a pussy cat called Orlando does have exactly this ability. Meaning, given Gareth’s returns, that the cat is far more likely make you money than he is.
Or to put it another way, Gareth has just been whipped by a pussy.