PJ O'Rourke has been diagnosed with cancer. Ted Kennedy has cancer of the brain; PJ has cancer of the arse -- appropriate for both, he suggests.
I have, of all the inglorious things, a malignant hemorrhoid. What color bracelet does one wear for that? And where does one wear it? And what slogan is apropos? Perhaps that slogan can be sewn in needlepoint around the ruffle on a cover for my embarrassing little doughnut buttocks pillow.
It might not be fatal.
I'm told I have a 95% chance of survival. Come to think of it -- as a drinking, smoking, saturated-fat hound -- my chance of survival has been improved by cancer.